This International Women’s Day, I am thinking about its theme, ‘Give to Gain.’ I find myself thinking about a group of women whose contributions are immense, yet whose needs are often overlooked: neurodivergent women navigating menopause at work. As a leadership coach — and as someone who has recently co-written an e-book on neurodiversity and menopause — as part of my practice, I have spent time in conversation with extraordinary women in midlife. Differing roles, levels in workplaces, backgrounds, sectors and industries that should be in work at the height of their wisdom and influence. And yet, many of them feel like they are quietly fighting to reach this height. If Give to Gain is to mean something substantial, it must include them so they can feel supported to do the onward work of lifting up others.
The Myth of Individual Resilience
Workplace narratives quite rightly expect and celebrate resilience. Push through. Adapt. Stay strong at all costs. But resilience without support becomes isolation and unsustainable. Neurodivergent women — across the brain spectrum — often reach midlife having built successful careers through competence, creativity and, in many cases, careful masking. They have “given” enormously to their organisations: time, innovation, loyalty, emotional labour, and institutional knowledge. There is a transaction here to be recognised. Then, when hormonal changes occur, those shifts can intensify executive functioning challenges, affect concentration, increase sensory sensitivity and reduce stress tolerance. What was once manageable can become crushingly and unexplanably exhausting. Energy flatlines or fluctuates. Self-doubt creeps in. Once recognisable self-confidence disappears into the ether. Too often, organisations with a backdrop of ageist social norms misinterpret this as decline.
But here is the leadership truth: when we demonstrate understanding, flexibility and respect, we gain loyalty, expertise and sustainable performance in return.
Collaboration Over Correction
The most progressive organisations shift from a mindset of correction to one of collaboration. Instead of asking: “What’s wrong with her performance?” They acknowledge the change and ask: “What do they need to perform at their best, now?” That shift is everything because change is inevitable for any business and the people within it. What worked then is likely not to work now or in the future. Collaboration means organisations providing learning initiatives for all, especially line managers at all levels, being willing to and engaging in learning about menopause and neurodiversity — not as separate diversity initiatives, but as intersecting experiences. This will give fuel to wider and continued learning about intersectionality. It means co-creating adjustments, support and spaces rather than imposing often well-intentioned but biased solutions. It means recognising that fluctuating capacity does not erase decades of capability and actively seeking out differing ways to achieve and sustain. When leaders give curiosity instead of judgment, they gain trust, insights and honesty. When colleagues practice psychological safety, they gain trust, support and innovation. Which is good for everyone, right?
Generosity as Strategy
Generosity in leadership does not equal softness and does not shy away from hard work. It is strategic. According to organisations such as UN Women, advancing gender equity requires structural change, not symbolic gestures. Yes, retaining experienced women is a moral imperative — but it’s also an economic one. Midlife women often occupy pivotal roles impacting all areas of business internally and externally. When they leave prematurely due to unsupported menopause symptoms or amplified neurodivergent challenges, organisations lose far more than a headcount. They lose cultural memory and strategic continuity. The virtue of giving good things — whether through hybrid work, clearer communication structures, self-led supportive resources, quieter workspaces or adjusted deadlines during acute phases — costs relatively little. Losing senior talent costs exponentially more, and organisations are naively facing future workforce dilemmas. Give support. Gain retention. Give choice. Gain commitment.
Respect as the Foundation
At the heart of Give to Gain is “give respect”, and the IWD movement’s first call to action. Respect means acknowledging that biology and neurodiversity are not weaknesses to be hidden, but people’s realities to be seen, valued, and integrated. It also means trusting women’s self-knowledge about what helps them thrive and offering up resources and expertise where they seek help. It means moving towards open, stigma-free dialogue, which is good for all of us affected by this conversation. In the coaching space, I witness firsthand what happens when women are met with respect during this life stage. Quite frankly, surprise, relief, renewed confidence and future strategic clarity. Gone is the wasted energy on masking, and what begins is a smart reinvestment in their leadership. And here is the interesting thing: when women no longer have to fight to be understood, they give even more — not from a place of depletion, but from strength. Everyone benefits, individually and collectively.
A Collective Invitation
This International Women’s Day, Give to Gain is an invitation to grow collective maturity in our workplaces. What generosity can you decide to take action on? Is it educating your managers? Is it the space and resources for honest conversations? Is it flexibility without penalty? Is it the redress through recognition to the women who have already given so much? And the RSVP? You will gain seasoned leadership, cross-generational mentorship, and cultures built on humanity rather than endurance. In my humble opinion, the future of leadership will not be built on grand gestures, but on everyday acts. Those of collaboration, generosity and respect where we all stand to gain.