Have you ever been ghosted? Whilst commonplace in dating or customer service, this is an issue that has and increasingly is showing up in the coaching industry. Where building trust and communication are key, ghosting disrupts the coach-client relationship and erodes confidence in the process. So, how common is ghosting in the coaching world? Why is it happening, and what can both professional coaches and clients do to navigate it with clarity and respect?
How Common Is Ghosting in Coaching?
Although no formal statistics exist, ghosting does exist and hasn’t been discussed very openly, but I am noticing it coming up more in coaching circles. I have had personal experience, not a lot, but it is ever present. Some after initial consultation, other times clients can just “vanish” even when the partnership is appearing to be positive. This isn’t necessarily one-sided. There are reports of coachees reaching out to coaches and receiving little or no follow-up. As the coaching profession expands, ghosting is becoming an uncomfortable but familiar reality. So why does it happen? A question coaches often reflect deeply on.
The impact of ghosting can be substantial, and let’s take the perspective of the coach for a moment. Coaches are particularly diligent in self-reflection and can emotionally react, experiencing feelings of not being good enough, resulting in a loss of confidence. That is aside from the time and effort that is part of preparing for clients, which also impacts the coach’s revenue that goes way beyond the very necessary but free consultation.
So why does ghosting happen in a coaching relationship?
You could argue that the relationship hasn’t begun if it is only at the point of setting up or holding a chemistry call. But it happens at multiple points of engagement, with the coach applying their ethics. Ghosting often stems not from rudeness but from discomfort, confusion, or awareness, with common reasons including:
1. Emotional Overwhelm or Avoidance
Coaching can surface deep, sometimes uncomfortable truths. A coachee may leave a session feeling vulnerable or emotionally activated, unsure how to move forward, or whether they want to. That silence becomes a coping mechanism.
2. Lack of Readiness for Coaching
The idea of transformation is appealing, but the work can be challenging. Some people book calls from a place of hope but realise later they’re not truly ready to engage with the coaching process.
3. Fear of Saying No
Many people are conflict-averse and struggle with direct communication. Ghosting may feel like a way to avoid directly disappointing the coach or dealing with awkward conversations.
4. Unclear Boundaries and Processes
If the coach doesn’t clearly explain what happens next or provide a structured follow-up process, a potential client may lose momentum or confidence. A lack of clarity from the coach can unintentionally invite ghosting.
5. Coach-Coachee Mismatch
As a coach, you would expect and encourage a client to speak to multiple coaches before agreeing to further sessions. Sometimes, the chemistry just isn’t there, and your interaction has been on the client’s side more transactional, and therefore, explicit closure isn’t required.
How Coaches and Coachees Can Respond Professionally
For Coaches:
- Check for Clear Expectations: Outline your process at every stage, from enquiry to follow-up. Help clients understand what comes next and how they can communicate decisions.
- Normalise Saying No: Offer low-pressure language and options for them to communicate. For example: “If now isn’t the right time, feel free to let me know. I completely understand.”
- Create a Follow-Up Strategy: Use email templates, automated reminders, or gentle check-ins that keep the door open without pressuring the client. It might just be a case of timing.
- Review Your Onboarding: This helps build psychological safety. Clear agreements, boundaries, and timelines reduce the risk of misunderstandings or disengagement.
For Coachees & would-be clients:
- Be Honest About Your Readiness: Before booking a call, ask yourself, “Am I ready to commit to personal or professional growth?” It’s okay to wait.
- Communicate Clearly: However you communicate, a response is better than no response. It is also respectful to you, to the coach, and your relationship, however short.
- Remember Coaches Are People Too: Coaches understand, things do change—they just value a clear and respectful response and willingly will want to understand why if you’re happy to share.
At the heart of coaching is trust for all. I am placing my trust in our community to share their experience they have of this, whether you’re a coach or coachee. So, we can understand more and shift towards greater transparency in our coaching.
👉 Have you experienced ghosting in your coaching practice, or as a coachee? Share your thoughts or tips in the comments. Let’s open up the conversation and create more clarity, confidence, and respect in the coaching world.
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